The myth of Bare Minimum

Lately, it feels like we talk about the “bare minimum” a lot.

How we shouldn’t settle for it.

How we deserve more than crumbs.

And we do, we truly do.

But somewhere between self-worth and self-protection,

the idea of “bare minimum” has become a wall - one that often keeps us safe, but also keeps us distant.

We’ve started confusing effortlessness with love,

and grand gestures with care.

So when someone texts good morning,

shows up on time, or checks in about our day,

we roll our eyes and say

“That’s just the bare minimum.”

But what if -

what if the bare minimum isn’t minimal at all?

What if it’s the very fabric that love is built on?

Consistency, presence, honesty

they may sound small,

but they’re the quiet architecture of safety.

Love isn’t always meant to feel dramatic or loud.

Sometimes it looks like showing up on the days you don’t feel like it.

Sometimes it’s choosing kindness when frustration feels easier.

Sometimes it’s a simple message that says,

“I’m thinking of you.”

And while that might look like the bare minimum on the outside

on the inside, it’s what keeps love from slipping away.

As a therapist, I often see how people crave the extraordinary,

because ordinary love can feel too familiar - too steady to feel special.

But love isn’t sustained by fireworks.

It’s sustained by warmth, by reliability, by the quiet knowing

that someone is there not perfectly, but truly.

The bare minimum isn’t about settling.

It’s about valuing the basics that let love breathe.

The foundation before the flourish.

So maybe it’s not about demanding more.

Maybe it’s about re-seeing what’s already here thr text that says “reach home safe,”

the effort to listen,

the willingness to repair.

Love doesn’t always need to be louder.

It just needs to be lived.

Because the bare minimum,

when done with intention,

isn’t bare at all

*it’s the beginning of everything real*